Writing Wedding Vows and Speeches by Vanessa Larkey

It's Thanksgiving weekend here in Canada. 

Aside from gorging ourselves with food, it's a great time to reflect on how lucky we are to live in such a progressive country*, and hopefully, give thanks for living within a supportive community of family and friends. 

This weekend also marked the first time Peter and I attempted to write our vows and wedding speech. Thinking of our family and friends, we became overwhelmed with emotion. We are surrounded by such inspiring, caring, thoughtful, and intelligent people. How did we get so lucky? 

So! How should we go about writing all of our emotions down in a way that's entertaining for our guests? I took a trip down memory lane to find the answer. The year was 2008 and my cousin Deanna was about to marry the man of her dreams, Paul. I was tasked with saying a speech, and nervous as hell. I was sharing my anxiety with a colleague, Derek, who promptly sent me his foolproof MC plan.

Derek is an actor, former wedding DJ, and a great friend for calming my public speaking fears. To this day, I still use his guide as a launching pad for wedding speeches/MC duties. I've condensed what he said below. Maybe it'll help you, too.

1. KEEP IT SHORT

The short speeches are almost always the ones everyone remembers/appreciates the most.  Less is more when people are bored.   

 2. Plan Your End Point (the last thing you say before somebody else speaks) 

Write it down.  This way, if you go on a tangent, you’ll be able to easily come back and keep it fluid.   

 3. Don’t be Afraid of Clichés

Unfortunately, they are almost impossible to avoid at weddings.  A good cliché with an obvious ending will garner you an applause line almost every time. 

4. Don’t Forget to Thank Everyone

People like to be thanked.  It goes a long way.  

 *I know there is still much work to be done, but compared to our neighbours down south, Canada is a progressive Utopia. 

"OMG WE ARE GETTING MARRIED" MODE by Vanessa Larkey

There's nothing like meeting with your officiant to really snap you into "OMG we are getting married" mode. 

Sure, we've chosen our readings, but we haven't chosen who is actually reading them. Vows? I want to write my own, but isn't that an abstract duty for future Vanessa? No? Because we are getting married in 6 weeks? Right. Need to get on that. 

Luckily, we have an amazing officiant, Rita, who was able to ease us (read: me) when she sensed panic in our (read: my) voice. She reminded us that there still is lots of time, and really helped us craft a ceremony that is reflective of who we are as a couple. Long story short, if you're looking for an officiant for your wedding, I highly recommend Rita. Check out her website here

Another ceremony update that's kinda cool has to do with our wedding rings. Well, specifically Peter's wedding band. Last weekend we were doing a big clean and while going through some stuff, Peter found an old ring box that was given to him by his Grandparents. Inside was a gold wedding band that belonged to his Great-Great-Grandfather and namesake, Carl Petersen.

The ring is from 1898 and was crafted by a jeweler named Th. Halgreen in Copenhagen (where Carl Petersen was from). Peter tried it on and well, Peter and Petersen share more than a name, they share a ring size too. The band fit perfectly. 

We decided immediately that this would be Peter's wedding band. Not only is it sentimental, it was serendipitous that we came across the box at a time where we were discussing wedding bands. Also, using Carl's ring is economical, which definitely will help keep us on budget 😉