Wedding Day Advice!

Hiya folks! It's been almost a MONTH since my last blog post. Christmas, New Years, and life got in the way. But! I'm back, and ready to share some wedding day dos and don'ts that I learned from our big day, which happened 8 WEEKS (!!!) ago. There are two categories - 'The Great' and 'Not so Good'. I wouldn't categorize anything as 'bad', because our wedding day still takes top spot in my list of Best Days Ever. There's just a couple of things where if I had to go back and do 'em differently, I would. 

THE GREAT! 

HAVING THE CEREMONY AND RECEPTION IN ONE PLACE

I get it. You have a religious obligation to get married in a church. Or, you know of a really cute barn that would be perfect for the ceremony. But, if you can swing it, having the ceremony and reception in one venue saves on your most precious wedding day commodity - time. It's true what people say, your wedding day goes by in the blink of an eye. The less locations, the more time you have to savour the moment. 

While we were 'savouring the moment', we also had unintentionally set up a home base for our wedding party and family to meet, get ready, and decorate the venue. Everyone in one location also meant that we could get ready there, including hair and makeup. Our makeup artist, Nikki, and hair stylist, Mandee, were able to take their time and the beautification process (I don't care how that sounds, I'm using it!) was stress free and relaxed.  

Budget wise, having everyone (and thing!) in one location cut down on costs. There was no need to order a limo or Uber for wedding day transportation. And, bonus points! Because our wedding was in the winter, our venue waived the ceremony fee.* 

As for our guests, I heard from multiple people they appreciated the later ceremony, and single location. 

*When we were venue hunting, I found the average ceremony fee was about $800. Before you book a location, make sure to ask if they have a ceremony fee, and whether they can waive it if you get married off season. 

WEDDING PHOTOS PRE-CEREMONY

If you're comfortable with doing a first look, taking wedding photos before the ceremony is another time saver. 

As I mentioned above, our ceremony was at 5 p.m., which gave us lots of time to take photos during the day. It also gave us something to do, instead of milling around nervously. I think our photographer appreciated it, as he had ample time to get the shots he needed, instead of rushing things between the ceremony and reception. 

I also heard from a few guests that they appreciated this - they didn't have to entertain themselves for a few hours while the bridal party took photos. 

DELEGATING ALL OF THE WEDDING DAY RESPONSIBILITIES 

Before the wedding we assigned members of the bridal party different tasks including: 

- General venue decorating 

- Helping the DJ, officiant, and photographer set up

- Lunch and coffee pickup 

- Moving the envelope box to a secure location (along with the gifts) 

- Party favour set up 

This helped out BIG TIME, especially during the ceremony and reception. When it's your wedding day, you're pulled in a million different directions and really don't have time to hammer out logistical issues. Having a few friends (or if you can afford it, a wedding day coordinator) makes sure you enjoy the day without getting bogged down with issues. 

NO PHOTOs POLICY DURING THE CEREMONY 

Peter and I decided to have a strict 'No Photos' policy during the ceremony. Our officiant made the announcement before we walked down the aisle and luckily, everyone obliged. I'm really, really, happy we did this for a few reasons: 

- Our guests were forced to live in the moment and enjoy the ceremony 

- People trying to take photos during wedding ceremonies are distracting to other guests and to the bridal party themselves 

- Guests trying to take photos can get in the way of the photographer, who is THERE TO TAKE PHOTOS! LET THE PHOTOGRAPHER DO THEIR JOB! 

We did, however, have a sign letting guests know our hashtag (it was #hamkey2016). The morning after the wedding it was super fun to scroll thru Instagram and see all of the snaps people took throughout the night. 

PHOTO BOOTH 

Peter and I hemmed and hawed over whether to have a photo booth for weeks. Was it worth the extra money? Would we appreciate it? At the end of the day, we are happy that we shelled out the extra dough. If you can afford it, I'd recommend you do it too. It was so much fun to look at the photo booth pics the day after the wedding. Our guests really appreciated it too - who doesn't love a photo booth???  

THE NOT SO GOOD 

RECEIVING LINE

I thought that a receiving line was old fashion. Awkward. Unnecessary. But, in hindsight, it's something we should've done. While we did try to say hi to everyone, we were pulled in so many directions we didn't get to give everyone a quick hello. A receiving line would have easily solved this problem. 

CLEANING UP AT THE END OF THE NIGHT

While our bridal party definitely helped us clean up at the end of the night, there were a few items (tea lights on the table for example) that I wish we gathered. I think in hindsight I would've made a list of stuff that I wanted to take home, and stuff I didn't care about. 

Going Off Script During Speeches 

As I mentioned in a previous post, we went off script during the speeches and I ended up missing a paragraph I had written about my bridesmaid, Carly. For you future brides and grooms, DO NOT go off script! 

More wedding pics are coming - this is just a taste of the day! Photo courtesy of Tim Wadleigh

How to Cope with the Post Wedding Blues

It's been two weeks since we said "I do" and we are both feeling the post wedding blues. We no longer spend our evenings reworking the seating chart, practicing our vows, or hosting wedding crafting parties. Our lives are back to "normal". And by normal, I mean I'm writing this blog beside my husband who is playing a PS4 game where you hunt monsters. I think it's called Witchers? I have no idea. 

Each night our dinnertime conversation inevitability turns to the wedding, and we reminisce about the party, the speeches and the planning. One of us usually ends the convo with the wish that we could relive the best night of our lives one more time. 

Sure, we are basking in our love and marital bliss, buuuuuut, life post wedding is a serious come down. We spent over a year planning this event and then suddenly it's just... over. It's done. We're officially part of the married world. When I talk about post wedding blues with my married friends most of them can relate. In fact, some of them who spent a pretty penny on their weddings recall feeling disappointed THE DAY OF their wedding. We're told that this is supposed to be the best day of our lives, and for most of us it is, but what happens next? There's so much buildup to the event, and nothing to guide you into 'happily ever after'.

Well, nothing to guide you until now. Below you'll find my Guide To Surviving The Post Wedding Blues™.  

POST WEDDING HONEYMOON

There are definitely pros and cons to having your honeymoon right after your wedding, but Peter and I ultimately chose to postpone our honeymoon to early 2017. For one thing, both of our vacation days reset in January, which meant we could take as much time off as we needed for the wedding AND honeymoon. 

Postponing the honeymoon has also given us something to look forward to and plan. That being said, we were advised by friends to book our flights pre-wedding to make sure we actually took a vacation. I'm glad we did. 

As the title of this blog suggests, I'm a lady on a budget. Given our frugal nature I could see future Vanessa saying, "Do we really want to spend money on a vacation?" Yes. Yes we do. And so do you. 

CONSPIRE WAYS TO DEFLECT THE 'ARE YOU HAVING KIDS NOW?' QUESTION

"You pregnant yet?" 

I've been asked that question non-stop since we exchanged our 'I dos'. Usually the answer is a bashful "No!" but I should really change it to, "None of your damn business." 

Hey, in the past I've also been guilty of asking that question too. While well intentioned, I don't think people realize just how difficult it is for some women to get knocked up. I certainly wasn't aware until friends started opening up about their miscarriages and fertility issues. 

The question is especially gut wrenching for women that have been trying to get pregnant for years with no success. I've stopped asking any pregnancy related question because really, it's none of my damn business either. It also pains me to think that in an attempt to ask a lighthearted and fun question, I might've brought up painful miscarriage memories or fertility issues. 

If "none of your damn business" doesn't work for you, try one of these other lines, or come up with your own! It's as much fun as coming up with a wedding hashtag. 

- Babies? I'm more into cyborgs. We'll all need one in the post-Trump era 

- We wanted to give the whole parenthood thing a dry run with my Tamagotchi. It's similar to parenting, right? 

- No soft cheese, fish, or booze make Vanessa go something something. 

- We are waiting till Trump is out of the oval office to consummate our marriage 

WEDDING DRESS PARTY

This one comes courtesy of my friend Paula. When she first got hitched, anytime I'd go over to her place she'd wear her wedding dress. In her words, she wanted to wear it enough to get her money's worth. Hey, if you're not trading your dress on Bunz, why the heck not? 

Now that a few of us have said our 'I dos' we could throw a pretty epic wedding gown party complete with cake and all of our fave wedding tunes. 

LOL @ WEDDING CARDS

Laughter's the best medicine, right? Why not LOL at some of the funnier cards you've received? Here are some of the cards we received that made us smile. 

*The Awesome card came with a temporary tattoo. We have yet to wear it. 

POST WEDDING DATE DAY

Miss seeing your partner all dressed up? Plan a date where you both put on some fancy clothes and do fancy things. A few days after we got hitched Peter and I went to the museum, out for dinner and then to go see a play. It was fun to have the day to ourselves and feel classy. We enjoyed it so much we decided to make it a yearly tradition. 

PAT YOURSELF ON THE BACK

You must be pretty awesome for another human being to commit spending the rest of their life with you! Enjoy their company and take it all in - even if it means watching them play PS4 on a Sunday afternoon.